


Uttered Feminity

by Veelez (Hyela)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, First Time, I am suspicious of my sex scene because I dont have sex myself :/, the beginning of an idyll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:32:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyela/pseuds/Veelez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson was a sensible choice, until he wasn’t anymore. He enabled what Lydia wanted to be, rather than what she was. Stiles would enable her true self, which was a terrifying prospective. Allison just went along with anything, smiling at all Lydias.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uttered Feminity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [homoeroticismforthewin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/homoeroticismforthewin/gifts).



> Allison/Lydia  
> Rated M for the two girls rejoicing in each other. Romantic sex  
> Alternative Canon. Somewhere in S3.

_If one could be friendly with women, what a pleasure_  
 _\- the relationship so secret and private compared with relations with men._  
 _Why not write about it truthfully?_  
~Virginia Woolf

  
It was September again. Jackson was long gone, his adoptive parents thinking that it would be good for him to live away from a place of great trauma. They enrolled him into a private school, somewhere south from Beacon Hills. He did not protest this and barely tried to convince them that he was fine, that he would rather stay here with the people he knew, his friends. The truth was, Lydia suspected, that Jackson had no desire to remain with his friends. He seemed upset to leave her behind, and even promised to stay in touch, giving her his new address. He did the same with Danny, and gave the guy a bear hug, making him almost shed tears. However, when she mentioned Allison, Scott or Stiles, Jackson only sneered and shrugged.

Jackson was not a team person. He had no interest in being in a pack, following orders or... fighting against evil. Was that what Scott and the others did in their free-time? Trying to be superheros? Or had they just a knack for entangling themselves into supernatural stuff? She might never know. They insisted that, unless she was brought up in their problems again, she should stay away from werewolves and Kanimas, anything with pointy tears and claws ready to kill her if that was convenient.

She thought it was very patronizing, especially from Stiles. Scott had this hero-complex that made him hid the truth and take things on his own shoulders, that much she gathered, but she thought that Stiles was more pragmatic. He was the one with the plan, with the brains. Yet, each time she tried to integrate herself in the group, each time she tried to learn some details about their little missions to help out, he either shut down or came close to yell at her again. If she had to suffer one more sentimental rant about how werewolves were dangerous and that involving herself in their troubles would only cause pain and regrets, she would slap someone. Probably Stiles.

She understood why he did this, and she was flattered really. She thought there weren’t enough gentlemen these days, willing to step forward to protect others. But she was starting to understand Allison’s point of view on the matter: it got on one’s nerves to constantly be put in the position of the Damsel in Distress, to be ignorant of most anything, to be pushed away, especially by someone who was just as human as she was.

Allison was the only one of the little merry group that Lydia actually liked as of now. After the whole ordeal with her creepy grandfather manipulating Jackson, Allison had changed for the better. She had at last realized that she had to balance her own cockiness with her vulnerabilities, so to be neither a weakling or an asshole. She also started to talk more frankly to Lydia. About everything. Her family of hunters, werewolves, how Derek and Peter’s family were murdered in a fire by her own aunt (which explained why they got so terrifying and reckless), how Derek turned Isaac Lahey, Erica Reyes and Vernon Boyd into his lackeys.... Fascinating stories, really. Lydia would have preferred to know earlier, before starting to think she was mad in fact, but better late than never.

The girls’s friendship had deepened over the summer because Allison looked so sorry and depressed about everything. Lydia had to pump a little bit more self-confidence into her, telling her —without knowing if it were true or not, she could admit that— how brave she was, and how she hadn’t been technically wrong. After all, Derek’s pack (apparently) did attack them that night and tried to kill her without any proof that she was a giant lizard. They weren’t exactly innocent. They wouldn’t let her know their true intentions either. Plus, Allison’s grandfather had his filthy hands right into his granddaughter’s brain at the time, while Allison was still assimilating her new lifestyle.

Truth to be told, Lydia envied Allison. Not her problems, that was for sure, but her qualities. She was a strong woman and, little by little, she was learning to be true to herself. She cared less and less about other people’s opinion of her. She knew how to kick ass. She knew what she wanted and she’ll soon enough assert her full identity, whether the world let her or not.

Lydia couldn’t yet say that about herself. She was still living between two realms, it seemed, with a third one trying to meddle in between. There was the popular Lydia, the beautiful lady with the pretty everything, the ‘swags’ and the right word on the lips. That Lydia was (once) loved by everybody, a born leader. She could get what she wanted by adjusting herself to anyone’s level, all the while being a step ahead from them. Then, there was the smart Lydia, Lydia the genius, straight-As student with a brilliant future before her. That Lydia impressed every single teacher she ever had and should already be in college. That Lydia cared about words, and mathematical theorems, and physics. She frowned upon stupid mistakes made by her slower classmates. Finally, there was the scared little girl that Lydia had tried to keep locked inside for a long while, now. The Lydia who needed to be reassured and cajoled because the world was a dark, scary, messy, complicated place.

Most people embraced the first Lydia, while being weirded-out by the second one and ignoring the third one all-together. Nobody tried to solve the puzzle. Jackson had been the closest to make an attempt at it. She wasn’t always true with him, pretending at least half of the time, but he knew she had smarts and it didn’t seem to intimidate him too much. He especially enabled the first persona, going along with it without thinking Lydia a bitch or a fake. They had had their disputes and their differences, but the relationship had felt right until the end. She had always thought they would last throughout high school and even college. She would have learned to fully accept the other parts of herself, he would have matured and accept it as well, they’d have been happy and contented with who they were together.... Sadly, she had overestimated Jackson’s endurance and mixed up what were his priorities: she wasn’t one of them. Jackson felt more about being loved than about her in particular.

There were a handful of people who praised the second Lydia. These people were constituted of her teachers. All of them were waiting for Lydia to drop her first persona to leave more place for the second. They saw her potential and geeked out over it, excited about the perspective of having at last someone worth doting over, someone who might join their ranks later, someone they could proudly introduce as their former student. Lydia only wanted to scoff in their face. Stiles had been a new addition to the lot, an improvement, but still a rather annoying one.

The problem with Stiles was that, while he saw through Lydia and knew about her intelligence, he still wanted to be her knight in shining armour. He still thought he knew better than her. In a way, by professing his love to the second persona, pining for it while waiting for the first one to fade away, Stiles was condescending her. He was an adult waiting for a kid to grow. And it was creepy at best.

She liked Stiles. She really did. He was kind, comprehensive, funny and helpful. He had this weird dorky charm to him. But she couldn’t stand his affection. She didn’t want it. She still thought that blue and orange weren’t a good combination and, up to now, she had been proved right. Allison and Scott had broken up and had yet to get back together, not with Scott being secretive and Allison trying to find her way without someone holding her hand. If they couldn’t remain together without shattering every month or so, what made Stiles think that he and Lydia could last? He would demand things of her she couldn’t give, and he wouldn’t want to play any of the social games Lydia partook in. Lydia already had expectations to meet without adding Stiles’s to the pile.

Now, her love life was a bit of a mess, and she figured she’d be single for a while until she got into college. That all changed when Allison came to see her on the fifth day of school. Lydia had left after the second period. Allison had showed up at her house after the lunch break.

There were these new boys at school, twins, and they immediately started to hang around her. One of them in particular, the one that didn’t talk much compared to his brother —who was a bit of a know-it-all— gave her these looks. He was handsome enough, but Lydia was a bit disgusted with men at the moment, and she wasn’t interested. He wasn’t forceful, but he was definitely insisting, talking to her at every turn, staring at her, always with his twin not too far behind, frowning or smirking depending on his mood.

They were up to something.

It didn’t take a genius to notice how awkwardly Derek’s trio acted around these guys. Even Scott stared at them weirdly. Him and Stiles didn’t seem to like when they approached someone they knew and talked to them for too long. They were nothing but civil, but there were something about them... They reminded her of the young Peter Hale. Allison told him all about Peter Hale. It made Lydia shuddered each time she thought about him and still troubled her sleep. She still feared he would come and ask more from her. Fortunately, Allison and Stiles had given her this magic powder, or whatever (magic powder! Her life was becoming a fairy tale), to put around the house. She also collected the blue flowers, picking them each time she found some. She had also resorted to collect material to make self-igniting Molotov cocktails. You could never be prepared enough.

The fifth day of school, the twin —she thought his name was Eden or Aiden— came to her while she was putting on gloss in front of the mirror in her locker. He appeared behind her, startling her, and let his hand drags on her arm, telling her that she was pretty from behind. He put his head just above her shoulder, his eyes finding hers in the mirror. He then pursed his lips and left.

So did Lydia.

This guy, Aiden, was an insidious evil. He was another Peter. She could feel it in her bones. The fright slid up her spine, covering her in goosebumps and making her sweat profusely. She was shaking when she took her bag and her books. She was still shaking when she got home, having no idea how she drove there at all.

When Allison showed up around one, right before Lydia’s mother left, knocking on the door of her room, she practically jumped her, putting her arms around the girl and hugging her tightly. She had a lump in her throat, but she couldn’t cry or talk. She felt weak. Weak and desperate. And she knew that Allison understood, because she hugged her just as tightly and caressed her hair firmly; she didn’t murmured sweet nothings or tell her that everything would be alright. She handled the silence and the truth of danger like a pro. No reassurance would do it, only sympathy and honesty.

“I felt like that when my aunt let me know about werewolves,” let out Allison, “I bursted into tears in front of Stiles’s dad. I got a contravention.”

Lydia snorted. ‘You got a contravention for crying?’ she wanted to joke, but she said nothing. It was like she didn’t have a larynx anymore. Allison disentangled herself and took Lydia’s hand. leading her to the bed where they sat. She didn’t let go of her hand.

“I forced Scott to talk to me, and he admitted that there were new werewolves in town. They don’t know what they want yet, but they intimidated Erica and Boyd months ago,” Allison frowned at that. Erica and Boyd hadn’t forgiven her for attacking them, “They didn’t seek trouble after that, but they are fishy enough for us to be wary. If I were you, I’d be guarded. If you want, I’ll stay with you most of the time.”

“You already stay with me most of the time,” muttered Lydia drily, her throat still knotted.

“Well, yeah... but I don’t think you’re helpless. I just think that we should stand up for one another.”

“I know. I don’t have many friends left, and out of my remaining friends, you’re the one who seems to pity me less and less.”

Allison looked embarrassed at that, as she should. “We should have told you, Lydia. I realize that now. I think now that we were protecting ourselves more than we were protecting you, leaving you basically defenceless. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. At least you’re not avoiding me like the others.”

They sat in silence for a while, still holding hands, Lydia gradually calming down. Allison’s skin was hot, contrasting with her own icy hands. It felt nice. Her whole presence was comforting, come to think of it. Now that Jackson was gone, Allison was the only person to make her feel safe and confident at the same time. She was not demanding, she was comprehensive, and yet she was also allowing Lydia to be whoever she wanted to be whenever she wanted to be it. She was also challenging, since Lydia was a bit jealous of her talents, prompting her to be even more audacious and resourceful.

Whereas Jackson enabled her first persona, and Stiles the second, Allison went along with both of them. At first, she might have thought Lydia a little hypocritical, might have not understood her too well, but now she discussed everything with her and smiled at both Lydia. She even embraced the third one, the scared little girl, when Lydia needed it.

“Allison, can I kiss you?” she blurted out. To hell with it. She didn’t want another man in her life for now, and certainly not another Peter Hale, Aiden, whatever. She needed comfort and intimacy. She needed someone who would help her to strengthen. But somehow, she also needed that kind of closeness. She hated feeling clingy, adhering to that bullshit line of thinking that a woman needed romance, and a boyfriend (or girlfriend), but she wanted Allison. She didn’t mind playing the needy girl if she could get Allison.

The brunette stared at her numbly, her lips parting and her brows furrowing. She was processing the question, slowly, but she didn’t seem too shocked. Surprised, maybe, but not shocked, or disgusted, or anything bad that any other person would have been if they were in her shoes.

“Kiss me?” finally repeated Allison, “You want to kiss me?”

“You heard me,” answered Lydia simply. “I’m not a lesbian or anything, but... Perhaps I just want to kiss you. But I won’t unless you want to.”

Allison smiled. Fortunately, she didn’t laugh. “If it was a guy, there with me, he wouldn’t ask. He would just do it.”

“Men are idiots. They prioritize romance and timing over consent and feelings.”

She didn’t want to think about men anymore. They made her angry. Perhaps she would grow up to be a lesbian. Or a women-favouring bisexual, anyway.

“You are right,” admitted Allison. She seemed to recall something unpleasant. “You are often right.”

“Something’s the matter?”

“No. I just remember how that psycho, Matt, forced a kiss on me once.”

Fury sparked in Lydia’s stomach. People really thought anything was permitted. Of course, that guy was a murderer and a creep to begin with. She didn’t know how Danny could have ever liked him.

“Well, Allison, I’M asking you your permission. I’ll even do you one better. If you want to kiss me, do it. That way you’ll feel assertive.”

“Lydia, I think it’s your turn to feel that way. Seems like nobody gave you the opportunity in a while. Go ahead.”

She didn’t have to tell her twice. Lydia took Allison’s head between her hands, smoothing her soft dark hair, and planted one on her.

The kiss was pretty awesome. She didn’t have to play soft and delicate, she didn’t have to let her control the kiss (or let her think she was controlling it, anyway). It was sweet, but it was firm. It was making her heart beat fast, but it was also oddly relaxing. Probably because there wasn’t any expectation in the kiss: Allison was just going along with it, enjoying for what it was, a friendly kiss. Or was it?

Allison was already putting tongue into it, like she had it with shyness and restriction. Lydia sucked on her tongue, like Jackson used to do to her. It aroused a long, breathy moan from Allison, and suddenly, it wasn’t just a friendly kiss anymore. The girls clung to each other, kiss becoming messy and passionate.

‘Thank fuck my mother left home,’ thought Lydia as she pressed herself against Allison.

The brunette put her hands between them and, for a moment, Lydia thought she was going to push her away to have herself a little gay panic. She didn’t. She cupped Lydia’s breasts in her hands and pressed them carefully, before just plain squeezing them. Damn, that felt great.

Lydia was so turned on that she was a little dizzy. Euphoria, a liquid burning feeling, seemed to stream like a river inside her. She was getting mushy. She didn’t care. She felt good and comfortable only when she was alone with Allison, and she wanted to hang on to that while it lasted, hoping it’d last a long while.

In a brusque movement, Allison was up and removing her vest. And then her shirt. And her bra. Hurriedly, but taking the time to give her these really seductive glances in between each clothe. Lydia was a little taken aback. Was she... Yes, they were. No doubt about it. And this was the girl who was wondering if she should have sex with Scott McCall less than a year ago.

Lydia got up in a flash and quickly undid the buttons of her shirt. Allison came close and helped her, planting little kisses on her cheeks and on her lips as she did so. Soon, everything up-waist was out of the way, and the girls got entranced in each other, kissing and touching the other’s face and breasts. Allison’s hands were soft, but strong and self-assured. Lydia remembered the first time she had let Jackson touched her. He was really nervous and even trembled a little. She had to guide him. It was cute, and she had liked how in control she had felt. With Allison, she felt like she was kissing an equal. She also felt like she could do most anything without shame, without having to worry too much, without having to be as patient and compromising as she had to be with a guy. It wasn’t rational, of course, but fuck rationality when a beautiful girl was holding you.

Jeans, panties and socks eventually joined the rest of the clothes on the floor. Lydia and Allison were trying to take their time to explore the novelty that was another girl’s body, but they could hardly wait, still fervently kissing each other and groping everywhere their hands could reach. Lydia particularly liked when Allison grabbed her ass and parted her cheek while sucking on her neck. Allison seemed to love when Lydia took the initiative to suck on her breasts and nibble at her nipples. At any rate, she was the most noisy of the two. It didn’t even feel weird to caress and mouth at the brunette like that. It just felt right.

Allison decided to take things further by pushing Lydia on the bed and positioning herself between her legs. Lydia couldn’t help but giggle and part her legs, twisting a bit in the sheets in anticipation.

“Okay, I’ve never done this before,” said Allison, staring at her vagina with sort of a puzzled look, “But it should not be that difficult, right?”

“You just muck around, sweetie. Take some good licks... Just do it as you feel it.”

Allison nodded and then plunged. It was endearing how she had an aversion for hesitation these days.

Lydia’s expectations weren’t very high. Jackson had never been really keen at going down on her, and it was Allison’s first time doing that. She wasn’t even sure that Scott ever did a cunnilingus to her friend. Effectively, the sensation was pretty weird at first, but Allison went tactically into it, listening and watching Lydia’s reactions to anything that she tried. For a novice, she was damn good. She was able to subtract her enthusiasm and her anxiety to concentrate on the task at end. She was able to focus on giving pleasure instead of just thrashing under her own passion and impatience.

It did not take too long for Lydia to lose her facade and start panting and sighing. She wasn’t a moaner, but Allison’s little laugh against her thigh told her that her friend got her appreciation just fine. When Allison concentrated her attention on her clitoris, Lydia actually gasped, a small sound that sufficed to make Allison buckle against the bed. One of her hand went under her body to rub against her own pussy.

“Hey... Allison... you can stop now...” panted Lydia, pushing on Allison’s shoulder with her feet. The brunette got up on her knees, a question mark on her face. Lydia sat down, and then went on her knees too. She was now facing Allison, who was a little red in the face and looked dazed. Her pupils were dilated by lust and her hair was in disarray. Her lips were parted and she would occasionally lick her lips, chasing the remaining taste of Lydia on her mouth. She was quite a sight. Lydia hoped that she looked as wildly beautiful to Allison as she did to her.

“Here, let me take care of you...” Lydia said before leaning forward and kissing Allison near the collarbone. While she sucked, with the intention of maybe leaving a hickey there, one of her hand found Allison’s hip and the other went to the entrance of her vagina. Allison let out a small, surprised cry when one finger entered her. She put her arms around Lydia and the latter felt nails sink in her skin. It was okay, though: the pain was part of the pleasure.

Soon, though, Allison pulled herself together enough to straighten herself a bit and, with a hand still on Lydia’s shoulder, she imitated the redhead. Lydia gasped as digits penetrated her and she smiled widely as she rubbed her thumb against Allison’s clitoris. The girl let out a throaty moan and the movement of her hand went faster. Lydia pushed with her hips into the hand, heat spreading from her nether regions to her upper body.

Allison was absolutely beautiful. She was trembling as she resisted trashing around, her body arching from time to time, her eyes half closed, her lips stretch into a happy smile and her nipples well erected. Lydia felt proud to be, in some way, the artist to this fascinating tableau. She never thought that another girl could make her feel so aroused. She had had a few insignificant female crushes in the past, but in this moment, there was only Allison and no one else. The brunette made her heart beat fast, and not just from the lust.

They looked at each other in the eyes and grinned as they stimulated each other. The whole thing ended with a languid kiss, during which they did not close their eyes. They just held the other’s gaze as they randomly caressed body parts, and hair.

Neither of them reached an orgasm, but they did not expect to anyway. They lied side by side in the bed, naked, still buzzed by the feeling procured by the masturbation. They were both peaceful, or so Lydia liked to think, their problems seemingly far away, at least for the time being.

Allison turned towards her and started passing a single fingers on her skin, wherever she could reach, on her breast and bellow.

“Well,” she said, sounding deeply satisfied, “So, that was pretty awesome. Do you... did you feel something? I mean, except from the obvious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like it was... I don’t know, just right? I never did it with anyone else but Scott, so I thought I would mess it up, but... it felt as though we’d done this before. There was no pressure, only...”

“Only trust and sharing. Yeah. I-I used to feel that with Jackson. Before things turned sour.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no it’s good. You are not a replacement Allison. I did it because I wanted to do it with you. You make me at ease. You... You make me feel like myself. I guess I should thank you for that.”

“Please, don’t. It’ll give me the impression that I just did you a favour. I don’t want to see it as that. That was more special than that. Like you said. Trust and sharing. I felt solid and confident. I miss that in my life. A lot. In fact, you have no idea how I’ve missed you.”

Lydia closed her eyes and smiled, appeased.

“I make you feel strong?” she asked.

“That’s it.”

“It’s the same for me, you know. You make me want to be a stronger person. You get me to be calm and reflective. I don’t know if it was the case before, to be honest, but since you put on that new independent, but seeking attitude... roarrrr.” Lydia laughed. “You centre me.”

“Really, I’m just someone going through an identity crisis... I’m just looking out for myself.”

“Yes, and finding one part at a time. It’s good. Too many people are too sure of knowing themselves, and too many others just let the hesitation take over. You are... like an explorer! And a warrior too, all things considered. These are pretty attractive qualities. Did you know that there were three Lydias?”

Allison frowned for a moment. Her hand stilled. Then, her arm stretched out so she was embracing Lydia and she approached her mouth from the redhead’s ear.

“The star Lydia, the genius Lydia... and the Lydia that was shaken this morning because supernatural beings won’t leave her alone. Did I get them right?”

Lydia turned her head and kissed her friend on the lips, grinning.

“Damn, I like you a lot. Oops. Sorry. But I do.”

Allison laughed in response, a crystalline melody to Lydia’s ear, from now on.

“I love you too, Lydia. You and I, we’ll be one hell of a team.”

“Will we?” answered Lydia skeptically, “Such a dynamic duo. Two crazy girls, one with her a bow and arrows, the other with flowers and powder.”

“That actually makes us special!”

“I liked normal.” whined Lydia.

“You did not.” snorted Allison. You thrived to be the best.”

“Now, that’s true. I guess I’ll have to settle for the best hunter.”

“Leave that to me. Postulate for the Alpha position instead.”

“Oh yeah, leave me to compete with feral beast boys. No, thanks. But I could be a great Alpha. I trapped one, once.”

“Made Derek suspicious of you ever since.”

“He totally deserved it.”

“He really did.”

There was a pause.

“I would follow your lead.” said Allison. “Given the chance, I’m sure you could guide us. You’re just a little overwhelmed, which is natural. I was for a while. Letting the guys take all the important decisions. Look where it got us. I’ll help you, you’ll help me. We’ll find our place, you’ll see.”

“Hmm. I thought that I already knew my place, see.” admitted Lydia sheepishly.

“Changes can be good. They’ll make you stronger.”

“Or stranger.”

“I’ll accept you and support you, no matter how weird you get!”

“You make formidable promises. I hope that you formidably keep them. You better.”

“Count on me. I won’t let you down.”

Lydia turned in the bed and snuggled against Allison.

Perhaps the future wasn’t so gloom after all. Or at least, there were sparks of light into it.


End file.
